I haven't read such an amusing and hysterical piece in a long time. I love that The Pillow Guy was your victim, which of course he loves to play.
Some great lines:
He could have rectified the HORRIBLE customer service that caused so many complaints on the Better Business Bureau that the BBB revoked their accreditation as a company, and possibly, as humans in general. ROTFLMAO
Then — Bed Bath & Beyond, Kohl’s, Macy’s, Pill-O-Hut, JC Penney’s, Kroger, The Ozzy Bat Emporium & Haberdashery, Wayfair, Ezekiel’s Olde Pillow Cabin, Walmart, Target, etc… all stopped carrying MyPillow products due to not being sure they didn't contain ebola and being sure they were cursed by demons. Probably other reasons too. ROTFLMAO
And oh, I'm rushing right out to buy a lot of My Pillows to give them as gifts, assuming I can find any for sale. NOT!